I’m above water but I feel like I’m drowning

In a daze, the state of my mind, not working. I feel so much emotion and it’s hindering me to do what I need to do.

I am stressed beyond stressed.

I decided to tender my resignation at work but they did not accept it, I don’t have the luxury of time to go there except for yesterday, now I don’t know what to do.

I don’t love my job that’s the truth, but the money surely pays for the rent. I have been living by myself  for the longest time and this is definitely one of the biggest risks that I’m about to take.

I have realized that I am tired, and that I have been tired but still I keep mum. Now that I am trying to set my affairs in order, the more I feel like I’m in a bind.

I have been behind on my lab exercises like big time! I have 5 exams in the next 3 weeks, a fieldwork this weekend, and 2000 Fields of view to analyze, Identifying fossils at my noob stage is really taxing. I have 4 papers to write, I have a grade to maintain and I don’t know if i can make it and we have a wedding coming up. Lastly, my company won’t let me go.

I’m taking this few minutes to write this even if I am pressed for time, crying at my desk at home, figuring out what best to do.

If I only had two bodies, there won’t be a problem, but contrary to other people’s beliefs, I am no superwoman, and I don’t think I can pull this off.

YES! I know it is my fault that I have been putting the inevitable off. You may be thinking as you are reading that “I told you so”. I would understand if you blame me, because yes I was the one who put myself in this mess.

I cant see a buoy up  ahead. But I have to be strong, I need to swim to shore, Its the final stretch and I always am able to manage, I have been through worse, so how different is this?


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