Losing a Dear Friend

I sat quietly at the back of the van, in the middle of people talking, I was not able to understand what the were saying, all I can remember was that the sky was blue, the flowers of the Kakwate trees were blooming and i was desolate, I cried silent tears and hoped that nobody would notice, I wanted to scream and shout, I was in so much pain, but There was nothing I could do. I just let the tears fall.

If you know me well you would know that i always name my thins. And if you are a real close friend, you will know their names.

The most famous would be Cowie. When my friends see him, they smile, because they know how far he’d traveled and they love waiting for pictures of him.

Let’s back track for a little bit because I want you to understand his significance, I do not just bring him with me because I want to but I want you to know his importance. So please bear with me as I tell his tale.

Christmas 2004, I was with someone else and so was he. Though I already had a little crush on him of course nobody knew. At one of my friends house we held a Christmas party, for me that was a night that I will never forget. I had a fight with my then boyfriend, and I thought to myself I will just have fun and spend a great night with my friends. The food was almost gone and everyone had a good laugh with all the games and stories, it was time for gift giving, there was a trend that night, I had received almost 10 gifts and all of them were cows, but only one stood out. He came to me, gave me a plastic bag and said “Yann, itago mo dali, ikaw lang kasi ang nabilihan ko.” (Yann, hide it quickly, you were the only one that i bought something for)

I was so touched by the gesture, and he did not even know that I already liked him.

Years had passed and he may have forgotten, but I never did. We went our separate ways after graduation but in the end we found our way to each other. By now I am guessing you already know who I’m talking about. Edward. He gave me cowie years before there even ever was a WE.

Edward has strict parents, maybe because of his condition, they are being extra careful. I have never, in our three years of being together, have been together on a trip. And since I love traveling, i want to be able to make him part of my trip, so that is the reason why I bring cowie with me. It represents Edward’s presence where ever I go. And having cowie with makes me feel, that even if Ed and I are far away from each other, what ever happens he is there with me.

January 19, 2013 – Cowie had passed.

He fell, and he died in Bolinao Pangasinan.

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