The previous semester was hell for me. Not only because i was taking up a masters degree in science, with no science or geology background at all, i was also working full time in a financial company, and opening a new business. The whirlwind of events and left me depressed, sickly and its is sad to admit, but I ended up gaining a ton of weight that I am not able to shed.
For those who had no idea what I have been through, this is the story of my 1st semester as a probationary MS student in the University of the Philippines, (I graduated with a degree in business and economics so go figure) mind you it may seem long, but please bear with me. I just want to be able to share with you what I have been through and hope you find it inspiring.
Coming off from a weekend without work I feel refreshed but I know how hard the next few days would be, so most of the times I end up sleeping all Sunday if I don’t have any client meetings. I wake up at 6am, go to school at 7, start class at 8:30 and end class at 6, sounds easy if that was the only thing in the itinerary. I usually get home at around 7 to 7:30, i try to get a nap if I’m lucky but mostly I am not. I have to be off to work at 8pm because my work starts at 9pm.
Total number of sleep 1 hour to 30 minutes if lucky.
I get off work at 6am, i feel it is a waste of time and money to go home since I have an early Tuesday class, so I go straight to mass at Sta. Clara Monastery, grab a quick breakfast and head to school for my 8am class. I don’t know where I get the energy but when I am at school I feel a certain thrill that makes my energy surge. But by the end of the class I am mostly drained so I hop on a cab, go home and sleep. This is not over yet. I get up at 2 eat a late lunch then go back to school for a 4pm class. Then the cycle starts again. I go home from school try to rest, go to work and its another day for me.
Total number of sleep: 3 hours
I get off work at 6 right? I go home, take a quick nap an hour or two at the most, and head to school for a 10am class, usually since my boyfriend drives his cousin to school he picks me up at a certain meeting place, we see each other for around 15 minutes, then I go to class, this does not happen often though maybe twice a month. Good thing is that I only have one class on Wednesdays, so i have time to catch up on my readings, do extra work to be able to catch up on the advanced classes I’m taking and doing some things for the Business.
Total number of sleep: 5 hours (yey)
It is my chores day, since I live by myself, I often find my studio cluttered with paper and clothes. Since I am always on the go, I often times find it hard to make time to clean the bathroom, have the laundry picked up, buy some food and necessities, so when I have the energy enough to do so, I do them on Thursdays. I also take the time to rewrite my notes and read up on whatever it is I need to read up on. i then go to class at 2:30 and then go to work.
Total number of sleep : 5-6 max 🙂
Fridays are like Wednesdays, out at 6, class at 10, home by 12. I sleep on Fridays, or i catch up on my watch list (series) or just bum around. Hey i deserve it after a week of struggle right? Then i am off to work by 8.
Total number of sleep: 5-6 hours
SATURDAY AND SUNDAY
I don’t get day offs especially if the business is on the move. I spend a day with my boyfriend, and a day with clients. If the meeting falls under a date-day, I have to sacrifice my time with my beau with a meeting with our clients or I often bring him along, at least we spend time together. On Sundays I usually sit at my study table and review. I know I should get some rest or something but with my slow pace in studying and with my growing dilemma with my dyslexia, I really have a hard time keeping up with my block mates, I believe I had to work 100% harder.
I had this schedule for close to 5 months, a lot of people had given me the questioning eye, they were like “are you crazy?..”
Yes, as a matter of fact I am.
I love school, but I can’t leave work. So i had to sweat it out. And I am proud to say I made it!
I have been in the deepest pit at times when I feel that I was not going to make it. There were a few low points for me, one was at work when I just found myself half asleep shacking and crying and half shouting because I was so tired. Two was when i answered true for a false question and false for a true question, when I knew the answer and in my head I really thought that the meaning of the word true is false and false is true (do you know what i mean?) and last was when I was studying about minerals and the book said “vertical to the axis” i cried because i can’t remember what vertical was.
My mind, body and soul were exhausted, my dyslexia had (if possible) worsen. I had no social life, i had little time for my family and my beau, and i felt that i was failing school and work.
I was so afraid to let the people who believe me down. I ate a lot, cried a lot and pulled myself together to show a strong facade. i did not want to admit to anyone that i was having the worst time of my life, i just had to keep everything pent up to the point when i feel like exploding, most people had really high expectations on me, I had a high expectation on myself, i was really hard on myself, i wanted to do more than what I can possibly handle, I felt like hell a gazillion times, but a good meal and a good cry usually does the trick. Now I can say that everything, the pain, struggle, and the suffering was all worth it. I have become stronger and better prepared since i have had adapted to school work, business and family life.
So to everyone, who has encouraged me, Edward, my dad, my brother David, my best friend Honey, my partner in business and very close friend Shai, workmates, block mates, haters, family and friends. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I appreciate the fact that you had believed in me, even if I did not believe in myself. And i really appreciate the love and care of my Professors, especially my adviser, I believe that under her neutral answers, she is rooting for us to pass our classes, and get into the program.